You single handedly changed my life forever. I had no idea that the journey you and I would start together would affect and impact every single area of my life and introduce me to things I had never known. I am grateful for the experience and joy that comes with being your Mommy. I thank God everyday that He chose me and your Daddy to receive you.
But let's start at the beginning.
When Daddy and I were married we knew we wanted children, there was never a question in our mind. However, our plan was that we would wait three to four years before we would start that journey. It made sense in our minds, we were just married, had bought a house that needed work, we were both in school and nothing in ourselves or our marriage was ready for a child. So it was logical and responsible to wait before having kids.
They say though that "when we plan, God laughs."
In December of 2009, I began to sense that you were becoming a part of our lives. I couldn't put my finger on it and I didn't understand it, but I began to believe I was pregnant. In my mind this was crazy, I was on birth control; I had been told because of medical issues that it would be difficult for me to have children. But my heart told me you were there. I kept these feelings to myself for awhile. I was scared, I was worried, and in a strange way I was hopeful.
On the morning of December 31st, New Years Eve, I woke up early after having a vivd dream that I was pregnant with a little girl. I had to know. In my car I had a pregnancy test, so around 4:30 am I walked out and got it. I nervously and quietly snuck to the bathroom to find out.
Seeing the positive test carried so many emotions and feelings. I burst into tears. I wasn't ready for this. We weren't ready for this. What was Paul going to say? Was he going to be angry? I had to tell him, so I went in and woke him up with the words, "I'm pregnant." Now any husband is going to be surprised, and to be awoken that way was probably not the best of ways to go about it. But, being the man that he is, your Daddy hugged me and just started assuring me that everything was going to be fine. That this was great news! I loved him a little more that morning.
The day was a bit of a blur. I was trying to make a doctor appointment since I had no idea how far along I was, or what the next step was. We got in that day and had an ultrasound scheduled for the next week.
The ultrasound was incredible. I was just under 8 weeks along and while the picture showed what appeared to be a jellybean, the heartbeat that we heard was strong. It moved both of us and we knew you were real. We started planning when we were going to tell everyone and we started to say it out loud ourselves. We were having a baby!
First ultrasound - January 6th 2010
